Agree with it or not, February is the month of love. Once its edges begin to peek into the calendar, your neighborhood drug store will look as if a pink heart bomb took refuge on its walls and aisles, and we will all be thrusted into the thought of relationships. The juicy word and complicated web of goodness in our lives. Relationships are very much always the theme, but this month we are not-so-subtlety reminded.
Being single in Miami is interesting, for lack of a better word. It’s easy to get lost in this jungle of sunscreen and yuppies. If Miami is a city going through growing pains, being a single adult going through the same certainly makes for good stories, at the very least. I reconnected with my single days and some local women to talk about what it’s like to be single in this city. We had a bunch of great stories, most of which I could never mention here.
What I did get was a head nod at the observation that dating men in this city is much like swimming in an Armani shark tank. Let me clarify before I perpetuate a bad stereotype, men in the ‘Miami scene’, in large part, seem to have read a manual and are playing by the rules. This unspoken set of guidelines is visibly at play on dates. Most of the time, it lacks creativity and involves showing off a certain level of financial okayness. A bar tucked away in the penthouse floor of overpriced real estate sets the canvas for casual conversation on how he once sued a telescope company because he found a typo on the box. Just for fun.
On the other hand, there are romantic nomads who venture to live life outside the Miami dating guide, and when you meet these personalities it is so refreshing. If I may broach the subject of advice, I would say give the nomads chances. Let them take you to that weird bar with too many homeless people outside and awesome unknown jazz bands. Another thing would be, stop hunting. Unless you want to, but don’t expect to get anything meaningful out of it. Going to one of the city’s countless swanky lounges in order to peacock by the bar will get you a few drinks and little more. You will not find prince or princess charming there.
On a more positive note, Miami is a big city. And big cities mean more variety to choose from. While Miami is not yet New York, we are experiencing huge growth and an influx of out-of-towners tryin’ out what it’s like to be a Miamian. These passersby mean the pool of candidates is growing. While some tired singletons will agree but challenge that the growing pool is a vast sea of sameness, I would argue that’s a matter of perspective. What you attract is largely a result of who you are and where you are in life. At some point, is it time to turn the mirror and ask yourself if you’ve in fact been playing by the same subtle rules?
Going out and exploring your interests within this growing metropolis is where you’ll find the heart of this city. There is a pulse of newness and the cultural tides are turning. The exciting transition is slowly attracting new modes of thinking. Slow and steady wins the race, and I personally love what I’m seeing.
When we follow our passions, we naturally radiate confidence and attraction. This glow of contentment and presence in the moment is in essence what being single is all about. For me, this approach almost immediately eradicated the sharks and lifeless conversation, making room for one such nomad with charming candor.
I'll leave you with this philosophy a dear friend shared with me. It postulates that you carry a piece of your soulmate with you. You need not go out in search of them, only recognize them when they find you.
Happy love month,