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Welcome to the emerald journal. Grab a cup of coffee or glass of wine and unleash your inner artist rebel. 

The Common Denominator of Negative Thinking

The Common Denominator of Negative Thinking

Yes, Millennials use emojis in their mathematical computation. Boom. 

Yes, Millennials use emojis in their mathematical computation. Boom. 

With my husband being a fireman, I’m granted several scheduled nights to be alone with my thoughts... As per usual I reflect on a plethora of topics (wine in hand) in no particular order, e.g. relationships, hopes, dreams, aspirations, creative outlets, etc., which always brings me to the same conclusion (and it isn’t really a conclusion, it’s more of an open ended invitation to continue chasing my own tale), but I think this question needs to be asked— “Am I making a difference in this world?” I don’t know if this is a question people commonly think about, but I do. It nags me to no end, and it’s the reason I probably drive my husband (and myself) crazy. The root of my inner turmoil. The struggle is real, as they say.

In my mind I try to take inventory of the purpose I serve by tallying up good deeds, daily accomplishments, and doing my best to seek positive inspiration in everything—even the not so pleasant occurrences in life. By holding myself accountable to this ritual of mental hygiene it allows me to see the bigger picture—we are here to be happy and happily serve others. At least that’s what I believe. I subscribe to the idea that your journey will always bring you clarity and resources to help you fulfill your purpose in life. It’s like every step we take is leading us to uncover the next clue ushering us forward toward our personal legend, as Paulo Cohelo put it in The Alchemist. I’m starting to realize (accept) that the macrocosm is truly within the microcosm. I’m only one person, but I am a universe within itself. A single drop in the vast ocean of our collective consciousness. I can only make a difference in what I can reach, one person and one situation at a time. I have no bearing on what others do, say, think, or believe, and comparing my life with another’s is as useless an exercise as wishing Haagen-Daz ice cream had no calories.

 

The bigger question is HOW can I serve myself and the world as my best self? I won’t say the answer, but my answer is somewhere between love and fear. Here’s what I mean: Every day presents a new opportunity for you to show the world which emotion governs your life—love or fear? If you think back on the decisions (even the thoughtless decisions like brushing your teeth) you’ve made today you’ll find one more commonplace than the other—our knee-jerk reaction to life. In the end, the emotional basis of your decision influences the outcome of whatever you’re trying to achieve. You should start asking yourself if the end (outcome) justifies the means (rooted emotion). Take a 10 minute break to jot down a few decisions you make on a daily basis, the more basic the better. Then jot down if you make that choice out of fear or love (or a mix of both). Try to identify if there’s a pattern. Are you a lover or a scaredy-cat?

Seriously. Go make a list before you continue reading this.

You may be wondering what the point of this little exercise is (and if it really makes a difference), but the meat and potatoes of my sharing this with you is in the WHY it matters. By all means, don’t take my word for it, because there is plenty of scientific research that shows positive emotions allow us to make better decisions (and more of them) as well as experience more positive outcomes in our lives. A great place to start is with Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s book appropriately named, Positivity. There she explains (in much detail) how making decisions is an emotional process (not a logical one), and how drastically the results change when the input is negative. It’s a great prerequisite to making a change in your life—that’s if my quirky little article isn’t enough to strike fear…{cough, cough}... I mean love, into your heart.

So what does fear say about you? I jokingly call you a scaredy-cat, but on some level we all struggle with our irrational fear of clowns, or heights, but the fear which is the most cause for concern isn’t your fight or flight type of responses. It’s the one you barely acknowledge— the silent killer of your wildest dreams. And what it says about you, is you’re life is based on negative patterned thinking. From choosing your outfit in the morning, to deciding what to eat for lunch—you’ve allowed yourself to be a slave to fear. This kind of fear holds you back from living your highest purpose. The one that keeps you working a job you hate, or failing to pursue your passions, or stuck with a partner that doesn’t make you happy. This is the crippling fear, the voice in your head that has nothing but negativity to throw at your brilliantly creative ideas, and shoot down your intuition when it’s trying to help you out of a bad situation. Whether you believe it or not, the quality of your life depends on this simple concept—decisions based in love yield life changing results. Challenge yourself to live a life out of love.

Here’s my unsolicited advice to you—establish your own “because love” practice. It’s the first step to keeping negative chatter at bay. From now on, everything you do, do it BECAUSE LOVE. Taking your vitamins—because love. Don't text and drive—because love. Eating well and exercising—because love. Finding a new job—because love. Expressing yourself—because love and with love. Finding time for you—because love. Give genuine compliments and feedback—because love. Hug the people who make a difference in your world—because love. Perform a random act of kindness—because...

You get the point.

 

My equation for happiness. 

My equation for happiness. 




What happens after the honeymoon phase?

What happens after the honeymoon phase?

Weekend Reading

Weekend Reading